1. The constant crying - you, not baby.
2. Last night, you diapered the dog and gave the baby a bone.
3. You often hear the phrase, "My plastic surgeon could work miracles with those bags under your eyes."
4. Instead of 8 glasses of water per day: 17 cups of black coffee.
5. The last time you and your husband slept in the same bed was...well...you have no idea. You haven't actually seen him in several days.
6. Your idea of a party: a hot bath and a healthy dose of Nyquil.
7. Your idea of a good night's sleep: 3 wonderful hours.
8. Your new favorite TV show is that Richard Simmons infomercial that airs at 3 a.m.
9. You can sleep standing up.
10. You've convinced yourself that the other drivers on the road won't mind if you rest your eyes for a minute or two.
-by Jacey Reynolds, author
The Bossy Mommy's Guide to Perfect Baby Sleep
There's nothing funny about sleep deprivation.
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